Remembering Luke

It's hard to believe it's been 6 years today since the world as we knew it would be forever changed.

The day that death came to our door.
A tribute to my nephew Luke.
15th Feb 1984 - 2nd Aug 2002

We are a very large family, Mum & Dad, 7 children, 14 grandchildren, 2 sons in law and 2 daughters in law.....we have been so blessed over the years, never before to have experienced the sorrow and grief of losing a loved one so close to us.

Luke was the first born grandson to my parents and because his father had so little to do with him, my father, his grandfather, became his role model.
He had always talked about going to America, he'd made friends with a family in a chat room on the internet who were from Atlanta, Georgia and since then set himself the goal to save enough money so he could travel there to meet them. He worked really hard and even moved to country Victoria to work on a dairy farm, where in a bizarre event his accommodation burned to the ground, in which he was extremely lucky to have escaped from. Of course he reached that goal before too long and he was finally on his way. My sister reluctantly agreed to let him go, really having no other choice and when the day came for him to leave, through tears she waved him farewell. I'm sure if she'd have realised that it would be the last time she would ever see his beautiful face alive, she would have dragged his butt out of the car and locked him in his room, then threw away the key.

In December 2001 Luke finally arrived in America, he saw New York and sent home photos of Ground Zero. He celebrated bringing in the new year in Times Square, visited Wall Street and Central Park. He went to Los Angeles, Florida, Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee.
After his holiday in the US, he went on to the UK to work and save more money so he could go back to the US. He worked in hotels on an ancestors visa, he really didn't enjoy England much, but stuck it out, saved his money and got back to America in July 2002.........

Mum & Dad were a constant presence in his life, he loved and respected them both dearly. Luke kept in regular contact with them while he was away, with AOL and phone calls. He had a web cam so they could see him while they were chatting.
I remember Leandra always threatening the kids if they got out of line that she would tell Grandpa. They soon straightened up because they didn't want their Grandpa to think any less of them, they just wanted their Grandparents to be proud of them....and they were, always.
My dad took the time with Luke as he was growing up to teach him what being a man is all about, set examples and good morals...Luke learned well.

He took care of his mother and two elder sisters, their well being, security and comfort. He helped with the shopping, the washing, the banking and anything else that needed to be done when he thought his Mum needed a bit of an extra hand. He took on the role of the man of the house at a very young age, because his father couldn't be relied upon to always be there for them. The insight and awareness from someone so young is astounding. To know that if you wanted something, you had to work hard and honestly. In this generation where buy now pay later credit society is the norm, he didn't take that road. He worked, he earned, he bought, he paid. Where does someone so young get such a strong sense of himself and the confidence to swim against the current?

It was 8.30am Saturday, a beautiful Queensland winters morning when I got the phone call that would change my very being forever. Leandra, my older sister, said through a trembling, crying voice, "Jose, my baby's dead"!
I was confused, her and I both call all our kids our babies. I said, "Which one"? and she said "Luke, Luke's dead"! I'm not sure what I said to her then, I was in shock, I didn't know what to say. My whole body went limp and I just kept saying through hysterical tears, "Oh my God, no"!
I asked her how she knew and she had told me that two police officers had come to the door and asked if they could come in and sit down...she knew what they were going to say before they uttered a word because the girls were both there with her, she knew that it had to be Luke. Every parents worst nightmare and it had come true for my sister. It had come screaming through her front door like a steam train out of control, sending her whole world upside down. She didn't believe what these two strangers in uniforms, sitting in her lounge room were telling her.
I asked her if she had told anyone else yet and she said that she couldn't contact Mum and Dad because they had gone to the Temple. I told her to ring Kylie, our younger sister, she said she would and hung up.

By this time I had both my children by my side, wondering what was going on. When I told them they just sobbed and went into shock. They had so many questions that I couldn't answer, simply because I didn't know myself. How? When? Where?
I walked around the house in a daze, I live so far away, but I just wanted to be there and put my arms around her and the girls. I was worried about Mum and Dad and what affect the news would have on them, since Dad had so recently undergone open heart surgery. I didn't want them to be told, but of course they had to be.

Joe wasn't home at the time either, so I tried to call him on his mobile, it rang once and then went dead. He had gone to the dentist, I assumed he was in the chair and had switched his phone off as soon as it rang. I felt so helpless. My mind was spinning, first with the horrific news and then with how I was going to get to Melbourne to be with my family. Would Joe and kids be able to cope without me, would I be able to take time off work, could we afford for me to go, how is Lee ever going to get through this, how are any of us going to get through this, he's so far away..why does he have to be so far away? All these questions going through my head at once.

I rang two of my brothers, who both also live on the Gold Coast, first James, he told me, "Don't worry sweetie, I'm on my way" and then Jared, he wasn't home, Aline answered the phoned. I said, "Hi love", she said "Hello", I asked if Jared was there and she said, "No, he's at work, is everything all right"? I said, "No, Lee just rang, Luke's been killed in a car accident"! I heard her gasp for air and lose control for a second, she regained her composure and said, "I'll try and get a hold of him" and hung up.

It wasn't long after that, that Joe got home. Jessica, Jayden and I walked towards him, he had a big grin on his face, one that said, that wasn't fun and I'm glad it's over...and then a puzzled look, because he could see that we were crying. I told him what had happened and he put his big strong arms around us and we all cried together in the hallway of our home.

The next couple of hours are a blur...Joe had organised a flight and he and Jessica had washed and packed clothes for me, while I had a shower and got ready to leave. By this time news had spread and the phone was ringing off the hook, family members checking up on each other for comfort and support.

I can't express enough what a great sense of loss we all felt immediately, even before the shock had set in and worn off. None of us could believe it, none of us wanted to believe it. I kept thinking of all the times I put off sitting down and writing an e-mail to him, just to let him know that I was thinking of him and wondering how he was doing. We had been kept so well in touch with his trip through Lee, all the photo's he had sent home, she would send them all through to us as soon as she got them. She was missing him terribly and worried about him being so far away but she was so proud that he was living his dream and he had made it come true all on his own. It takes a gutsy person to do what he did without a traveling companion, let alone a seventeen year old kid...but then again that may have been in his favour. He was so young and maybe a little naive about the dangers. Life at that age is endless...or so we think!

The week I spent in Melbourne, with my Mum and Dad, my sisters, nieces and nephews and my only brother that lives there were full of mixed emotions and I can tell you we ran through the whole gammit of them. We had never loved each other and also hated some traits in some of us more than for those few days we spent mourning the loss of one of the links in our family chain and preparing our last farewell for him.
We were kept busy with the normal expected details of preparing a funeral, then also with the added burden of trying to bring our beloved Luke home to us from another country, a country that we we're unfamiliar with the sorts of laws and regulations that were involved. I hate to think what Mum and Dad's phone bill was like by the end of that month...but as is always the case these things have a way of working out and with a lot of help from the most beautiful, compassionate, loving, caring people from my Mum and Dad's church, everything came together beautifully.

My family, Joe, Jessica and Jayden arrived with my cousin Lynda, (who became very close to Luke after he moved up here for a little while. They even met up in England, when she was overseas and she really was the last person from our family to have seen and spent time with him) from the Gold Coast on Saturday. It was such a relief to have them there with us, I was starting to burn out from grief and lack of sleep, it was as if the back up calvary had arrived. Then my brothers, James and Jared and Jared's partner Aline arrived on Monday...the only people missing were Jared and Alines two boys and my brother Darren and his family who were unable to get away from Vietnam where they'd been working and I know that it wasn't for the lack of trying. Darren is really the "brick" in our family and we all desperately needed him to be there. I knew I had a big pair of shoes to fill in his absence and I hope I did you proud Dags!

Tuesday 13th, 2002. It had been 11 days after the tragic news and we were all gathered together, family, friends, acquaintances, even Joe's Mum and Dad, brother Ralph and sister-in-law Anna had traveled from Tooleybuc. The church was packed, right to the back, we were all there to say our final good bye to a young man with an old soul, who had packed such a lot of adventures into his short 18 years, who had achieved things men twice his age can only dream of. Who had touched and impacted so many people from so many different walks of life, young and old.

You are a credit to those who loved you Luke. You now go on to a much more peaceful place, where there are no wars, disease or hunger, no tears and no fears, no hatred or disdain. While we that are left behind are filled with heavy hearts and beautiful memories of your short but sweet life.

We will remember and talk of you fondly forever and we will tell our children and our grandchildren of our brave and sweet Luke who set goals and never let anything get in the way of achieving them, I pray that your courage will influence all our lives for as long as we live.
Until we met again,
Loving you always,
Aunty Jose xxxx