About a boy...

Isn't it funny how mundane our everyday events are and often we all just yearn for something drastic to happen to bring us out of a sleepy everyday into a fun, exciting, new being.
Even though most of us don't like change, once it happens we often wonder why we hadn't moved towards a new direction sooner.
As it happens, the change for us has come with perfect timing. We have fulfilled our parental obligations and now have two amazing children flying solo, we are still young enough to venture into new territory with only the slightest degree of grey matter which doesn't appear to be preventing us from learning new tricks (only just though), we had no real estate to deal with which would have won over on a sentimental vote and we still really enjoy each others company - so like I said - perfect timing.

We've hit a few bumps in the road, which were expected and I especially found the ground a little shaky to start, but now we are just taking it as it comes and not stressing too much about what we have little control over.
A good way to live your life really!

We're introducing new lines, ideas and character to this place we now call home and we are beginning to see a shift in the attitudes of the staff and have noticed a swing in the acceptance of us being here.
It's a lot of pressure and a lot of work - having done a couple of 26 hour shifts filling in for AWOL staff, but even then we haven't entertained the idea of it being a little too much we've bitten off.

The day we've been dreading since we arrived is almost upon us - Sunday 24th August, MARKET DAY at the Calliope Historical Village - we've heard nothing but horror stories about how absolutely, insanely busy that day is - we have extra staff on the ready, stocked up on supplies and upped the levels for the ATM machine. So all I can say now is, 'come and get us', we're ready!!

Another recent, curious event that has brought some sunshine to my life is the blossoming friendship I have found with an old school friend, which seems to have not been limited by distance or time.
We have discovered we have so much in common, both with people and experiences with some amazing parallels.
We have even determined we also have connections with the same people or of people that know people - it has been a very bizarre phenomenon, stirring up memories of a much earlier life and allowing myself the luxury of taking a trip back in time.

To be drawn back there only to realise that the perception of yourself and the events that occurred back then may not necessarily be the core truth as you may have believed and that your perceived clarity of certain situations may undoubtedly be inaccurate.

To then also have a major event be qualified by the truth as you in your heart knew it to be, after being told at the time it was something else, brought unexpected closure with a tinge of sadness which then turned into a, ‘what could have been’ scenario.

You see, when I was sixteen, I was in love and in fact I was head over heels in love with a boy who was eighteen. He was in the Air Force, based in Wagga, so it was a long distance romance that we dealt with by writing letters to each other everyday.
He would come home about every second weekend and we would spend the whole time together, until it was time for him to leave again on Sunday afternoon.
I remember seeing him off and crying and just wanting one more kiss before he went, because I knew it would be the last one in a long time. I loved his kisses the best and I missed him so much.
We had been seeing each other for about 6 months when on one of his weekends home he hadn't called me, which was uncharacteristic, this was before mobile phone technology, so on Saturday afternoon he finally rang and asked me to meet him at the local milk bar. I wasn't sure what was wrong, all I knew is I really wanted to know, so I walked around and met him. I could tell that whatever he had to tell me, I wasn't going to want to hear - of course I was right.
He was breaking up with me, he couldn't really give me a straight answer, but in my heart I knew exactly why he was doing it.
I knew his mother was behind it in some way, but I couldn't understand at the time why he would even listen to her, I know he had the same feelings for me as I had for him and that I wasn’t imagining that. When I asked him if that was the reason, he vehemently denied that it was and eventually I had to accept that he had made up his mind and nothing I was saying was making any difference to his resolve.
I remember walking home crying hysterical tears, because at sixteen having your heart broken felt like it was the end of the world and that it was never ever going to mend.

Of course it did mend and went on to love again, but I have recently learned through my friend who has connections with my old flames family that in fact my suspicions were correct and his mother had apparently given him an ultimatum – it was either her or me and even though he made the decision to abide by his mothers demands, in his heart it wasn’t what he wanted and it took a long time for him to get over his apparent broken heart too and didn’t come home for a long time after that weekend. I’m sure there was more to it than that, but that information was enough for me to feel a little vindicated, but at the same time sorry for that boy, who even though he didn’t want to respected his family’s wishes enough to sacrifice himself for them.
To have my doubts validated long after I thought I even cared meant more to me than I would have laid claim to prior, but in going back and really remembering the feelings attached to the event was very healing – it was a pleasant visit and it just shows that if there is unfinished business or unanswered questions that time doesn’t have to be a barrier to the truth.

I have often thought about the boy since that horrible day and wondered if he had ever thought about me.
I may never know?
I still have all those letters he wrote to me for all those months, they have been stored at my parents home for the past twenty something years and one day, if the mood is right, I just might dig them out and read them all over again.