Celebrating another year....

We celebrated Joe's birthday yesterday. It's the first birthday away from our kids, extended family and friends, so we weren't sure how to commemorate the occasion.
I really wanted to do something that made it special and marked the unique environment we are trying to adjust to. I have been racking my brain for days, trying to come up with an appropriate gift, unfortunately he is very hard to buy for, he doesn't often express his want of anything in particular and if there's something he needs for himself, he usually just buys it.
The only thing I could think of was after remembering he had mentioned just in passing that he would like a new wedding ring - after being married for 25 years, his was quite dated and worn, so he was thinking something a little more modern and stylish.
The only problem with purchasing a gift for him is that, he is always with me, we go into town at least two times a week to do the banking and any other incidental tasks that need attending to. So this morning, I just told him I was going into town to pick up a few things and without question, he simply said, 'ok'.

After agonising over a couple of really gorgeous wedding bands, I finally decided to go with the more expensive one, only because I fell in love with it, but also because I felt he deserved to be spoiled, firstly because he is such a hard worker and never asks for anything for himself, worrying only about everyone else's needs and desires and secondly because he very lovingly and patiently puts up with me, my insecurities, my pms and my constant whinging!
I got them to gift wrap it, bought a special birthday card and stopped at the bakery and bought 2 slices a mudcake (so very naughty)!
When I got home I wrote in the card, put some sparklers in his piece of mudcake then called him upstairs to give him his gift.
He was so surprised and told me he wouldn't have guessed in a million years that that was what I was up to, which made it even more perfect.
He really, really loves it and an extra special added bonus was that it was the perfect size.
The only thing I had to go on was a pretty mangled old ring of his that, firstly I had to find and after the recent move, was not an easy task, the poor old thing even has a split in the band which made it even more difficult for them to estimate the size.
So all in all a very successful exercise with an equally satisfying outcome.
It is so cute, a couple of times I've caught him looking down at his hand to check out the new bling. I think he really likes it.
We made reservations for the Rusty Anchor in Gladstone, a restaurant that was recommended to us by one of our reps. It was ok, really nothing to rave about, but at the same time not an awful experience. We stopped in at the bottle shop on the way home for a little bottle of red, then we just relaxed for the rest of the evening.
A day well spent and Joe expressed many times how grateful he was for the effort and how special it made him feel but also he made it very clear how unnecessary all the fuss was!

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Earlier in the week, I got a phone call from Jo Monique asking if I would be interested in designing a DL flyer to advertise the new plus size womens store in Southport which she is managing, her and her boss were really happy with what I came up with. They are opening a new store in Beenleigh early next year and will be wanting a catalogue advertising their range - I'm very excited about the prospect of doing that for them.

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On the Mum and Dad front, I was so glad to hear that my Mum and Dad had finally gotten into Brissy to see some of Dads family. It's taken a few weeks for Mum to feel well enough to make the trip. She has started on accupuncture treatment, which seems to have had miraculous results, everyone is rapt with the difference it has made to her and with that the ripple effect it's having on Dad, it's like a weight has been lifted and he is so grateful to James and Kelli for being so welcoming and supportive, we all are.
We are looking forward to a visit from Mum and Dad at the end of the month. Joe and I have a UCB conference (for work) on the Gold Coast on the 20th-24th staying at Jupiters Casino - very exciting!! So we'll bring them back up here with us then and James and Kelli will come up a week or two after that to take them back home again.
We got a call from them last night to wish Joe a happy birthday and when I was talking to Mum, it was like I was speaking to a completely different person.
They had been out to Pauly's place (friend of James) and had a bit of a karaoke session, Dad who has a brilliant singing voice made himself at home with the mic and my mother was one of the back up dancers!!!
She sounded so happy relaying the night back to me, I just wish I could have been there to see it for myself. James told me he has it on video and Dad made a date for a duo between himself and I for when we are there next week.
We'll get Mum and Joe up to do the shoop-shoop for us as well! I'll try and get it on video and post it next time I update the blog - Yeah, I know, now you're either really scared now or just very amused!

Our first official visitor.

Aaron, our godson, arrived from the Gold Coast on Thursday 18th, Joe and I drove to Rockhampton to pick him up from the airport, an hour from Calliope - not a very exciting trip made even less spectacular with annoying hold ups for road works, but we arrived with just enough time to park the car, go to the toilet and buy a drink from the ever exorbitant kiosk all airports are renown for: $10 for 2 bottles of pump water!!!

Aaron was the first off the plane and we could see him making his way very confidently off the tarmac and into the terminal where his eyes darted from person to person in search of us, then with a tinge of relief which I'm sure we we're not meant to see when he spotted us. He surprised us totally by opening his arms and wrapping them around us both at the same time. It was a good start to our time together.

One his arrival at the servo, we were totally blown away with the way he got straight in and helped in the shop. He was excited and enthusiastic and honestly put our 16 year old juniors to shame with his thought process of what he could see that needed to be done and the way he looked for and found jobs to do without having to be told or asking, from pulling the stock forward in the fridge to filling up the cigarette displays, he was just always busy and productive, amazing for a child of 13. By the end of his time with us, he was serving customers, filling up the hotbox, using the tills and eftpos machines. He helped Uncle Joe in the warehouse sorting stock and driving the fork lift. His favourite job was mowing the lawns with the ride on mower.

As it turned out the twelve day stint was a little long and five or six would have been a much better time frame, he was missing his family and friends by the end and had lost all interest in everything, spending the last 5 days sleeping until late in the morning, then watching dvd's in bed for the rest of the day - we were all counting the sleeps at the end just waiting for Tuesday to arrive. We drove him back to Rockhampton to catch his flight home yesterday.

So now everything here is back to normal. Peace and quiet is good! Aaron phoned us when he landed last night and told us he loved us, so we've all survived unscathed and open to the thought of maybe doing it again sometime, just not for as long I think.

I want to be on the other side of tomorrow...

When I get there, I want to be scar free, fancy free and care free.
I want to dance in the wind, draw on the footpath and laugh so hard that my sides hurt.
I want to live in a spotless house, give into my cravings and never have to blow dry my hair.
I want my children to still need me, furniture that doesn't attract dust and a brand new wallet.

I want to be on the other side of tomorrow.

I want to close my eyes, go to sleep and wake in the morning in a downy bed of cloudy white.
I want to say everything well, smile everything better and smooth everything over.

I want to be on the other side of tomorrow.

I want to be size 10, eat size 24 and exercise size 36.
I want to sing in a choir without attending rehearsals.
I want to paint like Van Gogh and keep both of my ears.

I want to be on the other side of tomorrow and get there without moving a muscle.

But life demands that I stand up, walk out of my door, open my mind and think.

Life will not allow me to escape the truth which is this:

Sometimes, it's necessary to force myself through tough walls of prickly people and difficult decisions and sometimes it takes every sole thing I own to keep working harder, keep praying firmer and to keep hanging onto the faith I believe is more durable than the barrier that is holding me back in today.

Effort is required if I am ever going to arrive on the other side of tomorrow.
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Melt down!

It finally happened, after two and a half months of learning, listening and labouring, it all of a sudden hit me.

I was feeling a lot homesick!

All it took was one of our staff to come into work in a bad mood and all those weeks of non stop on the go madness had brought me to my knees.
She single handedly managed to change the whole atmosphere of the place and I could feel myself getting more and more aggravated about it.

It was really bothering me, a lot more than it should have and all I kept thinking was -
'How dare she'!!! How dare she come in here with a dark cloud hanging above her head!
What the hell has she got to be angry about - she gets to leave once her shift is finished, she gets to go home to her children and hug them and kiss them and talk with them, she gets to have a social life that includes her leaving the four walls of her home and then she gets to sleep in in the morning, she gets to have familiar faces around her, ones that light up with love when they see her arrive.

I get to do none of that - bitter, I hear you say?
Do I sound bitter? I suppose just at that moment I was a little bitter, but I'm good now, I'm over it and have been able to put things into perspective. Even though we're enjoying the change and the challenge, it's inevitable that every now and again we, me, are going to feel the pressure and loneliness of being away from all that is familiar to us.

Another one of our staff rang me the next day to ask how I was, I told her I was fine and that I was having a much better day, she asked if I was busy, I told her I wasn't, she asked if I was in the office and I told her I was. She then said good, I'd really like to come and see you, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes.
I was really worried, I didn't know why she was coming or what it is she wanted to say to me, of course I thought the worst, so I just kept myself busy until she arrived, but then when she got here, she carried in a box and said this is for you, I've been thinking about you all morning and wanted to do something to cheer you up - she had potted me half a dozen plants, that she obviously grows and in one of them she had written a note and attached it on a stick, it said:
Here's a little bit of colour to brighten up your day!

How nice was that? It was a really lovely thing for her to do. I'm going to buy some new pots for them and put them on my little verandah, that will give me something to care for, since I'm feeling a little obsolete in that area without the kids close by.

We had some really exciting news this week. The company have asked me to do some design and printing work for the whole chain. They need tickets for some new products and also some advertising material. They've bought me a new Canon printer and an A3 laminator and delivered them here yesterday, but with my experience in printing, I've asked if it would be possible to get some prices on a professional colour printer, which they've allowed me to do.
I phoned Andrew who I used to work with at Konica Minolta and he's going to see what they have available in our price range down there and if all goes well, will organise to have it delivered up here - I'm very excited about it all.

They've also asked Joe and I to set out a new menu for the chain. They have been taking notice of the interest we've taken in our current menu and the steps we've taken to make some changes to us and with that the success and the feedback we've had.

Here are some samples of what we've been doing:

So all at Calliope, Central Queensland is well at present.

We have another trip home to see the kids next weekend, which is giving us both something to look forward to. We haven’t had a day off since we got back from the last trip away.
I spoke to Jo last night and since we have missed some family celebrations in the past few weeks, we’re going to go and do something special together to make up for them – which includes Aaron’s 13th birthday (Godson) – he’s now an official teenager and yes, we should all be worried!!

Happy birthday for the 1st of September, we love you Az!

About a boy...

Isn't it funny how mundane our everyday events are and often we all just yearn for something drastic to happen to bring us out of a sleepy everyday into a fun, exciting, new being.
Even though most of us don't like change, once it happens we often wonder why we hadn't moved towards a new direction sooner.
As it happens, the change for us has come with perfect timing. We have fulfilled our parental obligations and now have two amazing children flying solo, we are still young enough to venture into new territory with only the slightest degree of grey matter which doesn't appear to be preventing us from learning new tricks (only just though), we had no real estate to deal with which would have won over on a sentimental vote and we still really enjoy each others company - so like I said - perfect timing.

We've hit a few bumps in the road, which were expected and I especially found the ground a little shaky to start, but now we are just taking it as it comes and not stressing too much about what we have little control over.
A good way to live your life really!

We're introducing new lines, ideas and character to this place we now call home and we are beginning to see a shift in the attitudes of the staff and have noticed a swing in the acceptance of us being here.
It's a lot of pressure and a lot of work - having done a couple of 26 hour shifts filling in for AWOL staff, but even then we haven't entertained the idea of it being a little too much we've bitten off.

The day we've been dreading since we arrived is almost upon us - Sunday 24th August, MARKET DAY at the Calliope Historical Village - we've heard nothing but horror stories about how absolutely, insanely busy that day is - we have extra staff on the ready, stocked up on supplies and upped the levels for the ATM machine. So all I can say now is, 'come and get us', we're ready!!

Another recent, curious event that has brought some sunshine to my life is the blossoming friendship I have found with an old school friend, which seems to have not been limited by distance or time.
We have discovered we have so much in common, both with people and experiences with some amazing parallels.
We have even determined we also have connections with the same people or of people that know people - it has been a very bizarre phenomenon, stirring up memories of a much earlier life and allowing myself the luxury of taking a trip back in time.

To be drawn back there only to realise that the perception of yourself and the events that occurred back then may not necessarily be the core truth as you may have believed and that your perceived clarity of certain situations may undoubtedly be inaccurate.

To then also have a major event be qualified by the truth as you in your heart knew it to be, after being told at the time it was something else, brought unexpected closure with a tinge of sadness which then turned into a, ‘what could have been’ scenario.

You see, when I was sixteen, I was in love and in fact I was head over heels in love with a boy who was eighteen. He was in the Air Force, based in Wagga, so it was a long distance romance that we dealt with by writing letters to each other everyday.
He would come home about every second weekend and we would spend the whole time together, until it was time for him to leave again on Sunday afternoon.
I remember seeing him off and crying and just wanting one more kiss before he went, because I knew it would be the last one in a long time. I loved his kisses the best and I missed him so much.
We had been seeing each other for about 6 months when on one of his weekends home he hadn't called me, which was uncharacteristic, this was before mobile phone technology, so on Saturday afternoon he finally rang and asked me to meet him at the local milk bar. I wasn't sure what was wrong, all I knew is I really wanted to know, so I walked around and met him. I could tell that whatever he had to tell me, I wasn't going to want to hear - of course I was right.
He was breaking up with me, he couldn't really give me a straight answer, but in my heart I knew exactly why he was doing it.
I knew his mother was behind it in some way, but I couldn't understand at the time why he would even listen to her, I know he had the same feelings for me as I had for him and that I wasn’t imagining that. When I asked him if that was the reason, he vehemently denied that it was and eventually I had to accept that he had made up his mind and nothing I was saying was making any difference to his resolve.
I remember walking home crying hysterical tears, because at sixteen having your heart broken felt like it was the end of the world and that it was never ever going to mend.

Of course it did mend and went on to love again, but I have recently learned through my friend who has connections with my old flames family that in fact my suspicions were correct and his mother had apparently given him an ultimatum – it was either her or me and even though he made the decision to abide by his mothers demands, in his heart it wasn’t what he wanted and it took a long time for him to get over his apparent broken heart too and didn’t come home for a long time after that weekend. I’m sure there was more to it than that, but that information was enough for me to feel a little vindicated, but at the same time sorry for that boy, who even though he didn’t want to respected his family’s wishes enough to sacrifice himself for them.
To have my doubts validated long after I thought I even cared meant more to me than I would have laid claim to prior, but in going back and really remembering the feelings attached to the event was very healing – it was a pleasant visit and it just shows that if there is unfinished business or unanswered questions that time doesn’t have to be a barrier to the truth.

I have often thought about the boy since that horrible day and wondered if he had ever thought about me.
I may never know?
I still have all those letters he wrote to me for all those months, they have been stored at my parents home for the past twenty something years and one day, if the mood is right, I just might dig them out and read them all over again.

Recharged

Well, our weekend away has come and gone, but we had a really great time and got to recharge our batteries. Seeing the kids, holding them, kissing them, just being Mum was something I had been hanging out for and my thirst was quenched. They both look really well and happy and I've come back here feeling confident that I can now do another 5 weeks before we head off again for another dose of family.

Jo and Andy were once again very generous with their warmth and love and they made us feel very welcome and comfortable. We now have our own key to the front door, so we can come and go as we please - We love you guys. It's about time we were able to return the favour and show you some good old country Calliope hospitality. So how 'bout it??

Saturday night we had tea out with them and also with Jo's brother Paul and his wife Emma, who we've also known for years. We had a really fun night, filled with good food, good wine and great company. We went to a little Thai restaurant in Helensvale, it was a late dinner, we weren't booked in until 8 o'clock and it was closer to 9 by the time we were served. But we kept ourselves amused and the meals were definitely worth the wait. Yummo! The fact that I had just come off detox, meant that I was a very cheap drunk - 1/2 a glass of red and I was the life of the party. I don't think I've laughed so much in a very long time.

Sunday we were up early, Joe and I had breakfast out, then met Jayden and Amy back at Jo's so we could all drive in to Jessica and Ray's together. On our way there we got an sms message from Britney (niece). We were shocked when we read what she had written - she said it was a shame we didn't live on the Gold Coast anymore, because she was there from Geelong for an open day at Griffith Uni and she would have loved to catch up with us. It was our turn to shock her then when we messaged her back saying we were actually there too and suggested that we pick her up later in the day so we could have tea with her. It was so great to see her, it was an unexpected delight for the weekend. We got to catch up on what is occupying her world right now, from all the stories about her last year of school, her boyfriend Daniel, (who I've spoken to on the phone really like a lot) to her feelings about her father being away in Iraq and how she's dealing with that. She seems so grown up with such strong convictions for someone so young. She will turn 18 in December, but she is wise beyond her years having had the privilege of traveling to many countries in the world with her fathers position in the Army giving her the advantage of a worldly education.
Despite how she looks in this photo - she was really happy to be with us - just not so happy to be having her photo taken - teenagers, gotta love 'em!

The time we got to spend with the kids was very short but also very sweet. They both look really happy and healthy. I got to double dip with Jayden, when we went to visit him at his digs. He's doing alright for himself although he is visibly missing us - not sure that it's us so much as the good deal he's only just realised he was on by living at home and having Mum and Dad do so much for him - washing, ironing, cooking, making the bed - which I noticed wasn't made when we were there mate!
Lunch was at the Wynnum Tavern which was as good as the last time we were there for Jessica's birthday. We just chatted casually with each other, with Joe and I telling them all all bout our new life and the things we are hating about it and the things that we love about it. It was so nice having Amy join us, even though her and Jayden aren't officially together anymore, they obviously still have a great friendship which has been important enough for them to keep and have obviously been able to work out any of the problems that led to their break up. I know Jayden spends at least a couple of nights with Amy's family, which is nice for me to know he's getting at least some home cooked food.

Another great thing that happened on the weekend - I went to see MY chiropractor, Dr Mike and guess what, he fixed my problem, it took a couple of days to settle down after I'd seen him, but I feel really good again and it's great.

We had been to Harvey Norman in Bundall where I bought my new ipod so we dropped in to see Jared (brother) Aline and the kids, because they are just around the corner from there and would you believe it - they weren't home!! Happy 9th Birthday for Sunday Daniel, we're sorry we missed you.

Well, unfortunately I have been very slack and it's now nearly a week since we've been back here and the time away seems like just a distant memory - but in a way that's good, because we've got one week down so now there's only 4 to go before we get to do it again!!!

Off to see the kids.

We have now been living and working in Calliope for 4 weeks – and without a day off so we are starting to feel the pinch a little.

Every time I think about the kids or someone asks me how they’re doing, I get a little teary, so we decided to get a kids fix - bite the bullet and take some time out.
We are leaving here this morning after we’ve done the banking then we’re heading off for a long weekend. The only down side is the 6 hour drive each way, taking away 12 hours of our time off in the car, but I’m happy enough to sacrifice that time for the break away.

Things are going really well; finally I’m making a little more sense of the back office procedures. Joe handles all the ordering/reps and the majority of staff issues – and we have plenty of them. It’s feels like a constant battlefield, trying to keep everyone happy, motivated and productive. We are certainly not there yet and I know that those issues will always be a work in progress.

We are excited about a new salad bar fridge that will be going into the shop next week, which will give many more healthier choices for our customers instead of all the greasy, oil laden, heart attack in a bag food – you get the picture.
I am famous (in my family circle anyway) for my garden and potato salads, which are always requested if there is a bbq on, which I’m happy to prepare and supply and I’m keen to find more ideas to add to my repertoire.

In the time since packing up the house and moving here our diet has been less than desirable and living above a commercial kitchen where everything you could possibly want is just an order away from your plate, I decided not to risk falling into any bad habits right from the start, so to prepare myself for healthier food choices I decided to go onto a short 15 day detox program.
I started last Monday so as of today I have been going for 11 days with really good results – except for yesterday that is!! For some reason I just felt really hungry and not just hunger pangs, but cravings for a toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwich (why that I have no idea). It really challenged my will power and I’m ashamed to say, I gave in – and may I say, I gave in really easily – I was a walk over for that pesky craving and on top of that (as if that wasn’t bad enough) I had a honey and malt flavoured milk to wash it down!!! I know, shame on me.
All I can say is tomorrow is another day and I hope to do better then.

Even though I am getting a lot more exercise in my day than I used to sitting at a desk, my poor old lonely dejected Mr Treadmill hasn’t even made his way through the door yet and is still sitting out on the verandah in the cold, covered in a big plastic bag that came off the new mattress we bought up with us – now it looks as though its huge robust frame won’t even fit and it seems destined to while away his days on the outer. So now I’ve decided it's about time I started giving him the attention he deserves and if Mohamed won’t come to the mountain, the mountain will have to go to Mohamed…or something like that.

An extension lead will do the trick!
Then all I will need to get myself going is an ipod and a little motivation, then me and the big boy can get moving again.