Reunion

The years that divided us, didn't seem so long. The memories of our childhood selves seemed to be secondary, we connected instantly, but it was a different sort of connection than what we had as schoolgirl friends.
The years had changed us - they had to have.

The instant recognition was amazing, she still looked as I remembered, I would have known her anywhere.

We've both experienced many of life's trials and tribulations and with love and support, thankfully, we've survived.

She talked to me of things that had been set aside, pushed back, to a private little compartment in the back of her memory.
As she told me her stories, I wept. It was hard to absorb, I didn't feel sorry for her, she wouldn't want my pity or anyone else's, she's far too strong and proud for that.
What I felt at first was a complete admiration and then thankfulness that she trusted me enough to relive all the darkness she has endured. She wanted me to know, she wanted me to understand.
I felt truly honored.
The sheer fact that she felt comfortable sharing with me the struggle and the pain, things that she never talks about with anyone and has only recently allowed herself to feel strong enough to go back, remember, deal with and accept as being a part of where she's come from and the path she's walked to become the compassionate, loving, confident woman she has blossomed into, despite or maybe because of it.

The warmth, love and respect, I felt from her was tangible. I was so afraid she'd be guarded, wondering why on earth I had gone to so much trouble to find her.
What did I want? What could she give me? She thought that door from her past had well and truly been closed.
I wanted so much to assure her that I was genuine, that my quest to find her was out of love, a love I had held onto for at least half of my life.
You see, she was my living breathing guardian angel. She tucked me up under her wing at a time in my life that was very difficult. She excepted me, she protected me, she loved me, when in her own life she was dealing with issues of her own - I never knew!

Knowing what I know now, I wasn't sure how to feel? Why hadn't she told me back then?
After a lot of thought, I now realise that it was self preservation.
When she was with me or around my family she was protected. She didn't have to worry about labels, judgment, or the fear of seeing her as anyone other than who she was. She could just be herself - as you know, big family - 7 kids, she had become just one of the brood. She loved being at our house, she loved the activity, the laughter, the distraction, the love. She wanted my Mum and Dad to adopt her. What's one more, right?
She had no clue, in my heart, I already had, we were soul sisters.
Even though she's a good 12 months younger than me. I looked up to her, I admired her, I loved her.
I am sure she had no idea, how much she meant to me, but she has never been far from my thoughts and had never forgotten her friendship, hence my very long, brick wall banging 20 odd year search.

I am happy to say, she has found love and a safe place in her life. Or should I say, it found her. She apparently wasn't an easy catch. She is more than content with her lot. She has so much love surrounding her from her adorable husband and gorgeous children. They are without doubt, her world, her everything, she doesn't need anyone else in her life, they fulfill her.
Her cup runneth over with contentment. She doesn't let many outsiders into her little tightknit world, but now considers me family, so that is the best possible outcome I could have hoped for.
She's has become a very strong, independent woman, although still doesn't trust many people and I can understand that resolve, knowing what I know now.

Be assured she has come out the other side strong, confident, motivated and hopeful. She has dealt with the skeletons of her past and is only looking forward to a much brighter future.
She recently found out that her eldest daughter is expecting her first child.
To say she is excited about the up coming arrival would be an understatement to say the least.
She is so ready to bring in the next generation with a clean slate and more love than one child will know what to do with.
I am ecstatic for her and love to hear the excitement in her voice and see her face light up when she talks about becoming 'MaMaine'.

That really sums up our amazing weekend reunion. It all went way too quickly as you can probably imagine, but it definitely won't be the last time we get together. It's my turn next. I just have to find the time to get away, but hopefully it won't take another 25 years!

What can I say. It surpassed all my expectations and I am truly thankful for her acceptance of what must have seemed very a strange quest.