I am blessed

I am eternally grateful and thank God for the difficult times.
Finally, I see the blessings in disguise. The lessons learned, the personal growth, the relationships worth nurturing and the ones to once and for all let go of.

I am in a good place in my life. I'm working hard and am thankful that I have the physical ability to do what I do every day.

I have so much real, tangible, genuine love in my life, I know this because I feel it right down to the core of my being, it is as real and safe to me as the touch of the softest woollen blanket.

I am blessed.

When I woke up this morning, I realised that yesterday was over. Tomorrow hasn't arrived. I am here, in the now, breathing in and out, thinking one thought at a time. What has happened in the world while I've been sleeping is immaterial. What will happen will happen. I can only influence what happens to me by choosing my thoughts carefully. I can choose my reactions to what happens around me. These choices happen one by one, one breath, one thought, one moment at a time.

I'm thankfully past the point of feeling that my life will implode if I make a wrong move - I've made plenty of them and here I still stand. The sky did not fall in.

There is some part of me that seems to be constantly discontent, wishing for "someday" and "something" to happen so that I can be more satisfied than I currently am, so that I can finally begin living my life. It is a natural position of the physical and emotional body wanting to cast off the feeling of being squeezed by life's cares and difficulties so that pressure can be relieved. And I imagine that once the steam in the engine has been allowed to escape, the relaxation of the release will allow feelings of overwhelming joy and grace to fill up the spaces formerly inhabited by stress and disharmony.

It has been said that the only two things in this life that can be guaranteed include dying and taxes. I submit to you that there are two more: We are guaranteed that we will experience challenge of various types that require internal growth to successfully manage and it is certain that we will occasionally look around and want more than what we have.

Finally, when all is said and done, I would like to think that when my time is over on this earth, that I will be missed but not mourned, I hope that the thought of me will conger up happiness and smiles, not tears and sorrow.

It was pure coincidence that I came across this poem while I was writing this post, I thought it was very appropriate.

The Test

The test of a man is the fight he makes
The grit that he daily shows;
The way he stands on his feet and takes
Fate's numerous bumps and blows.
A coward can smile when there's naught to fear,
When nothing his progress bars,
But it takes a man to stand up and cheer
While some other fellow stares.

It isn't the victory after all,
But the fight that a brother makes,
The man, who, driven against the wall,
Still stands up erect and takes
The blows of fate with his head held high
Bleeding and bruised and pale,
He's the man who'll win in the by and by,
For he isn't afraid to fail.

It's the bumps you get and the jolts you get
And the shocks that your courage stands,
The hours of sorrow and vain regret,
The prize that escapes your hands,
That test your mettle and prove your worth.
It isn't the blows you deal,
But the blows you take on this good, old earth
That shows if your stuff is real.

- Anonymous

Ladies, prepare to drool!!

Ok girls, finally - here they are!
Tracey was very gracious and persevered relentlessly to get these to me (only after a little (lot) pestering, sorry Trace). After having problems with her computer and trying a few times, she almost gave up and told me she would pop them on a disc and post them to me.
I was ok with that and completely grateful for all the trouble she was going to. Then, to my surprise, when I woke and checked my email yesterday morning - there they were! Yay!
I can't explain just how down to earth and natural this young man was and oh, that smile, it just lights up the room. As you can tell, I was very impressed.

I'm actually really sorry now, because there were people getting up on stage and having their photos taken with him- I unfortunately had not had enough to drink so didn't have the courage!
Damn!!
Then, as if that regret wasn't bad enough, I had another lost opportunity, because later that night...much later, around 2.30 in the morning in fact, Joe and I had decided to call it a night and after saying our goodbyes to everyone headed to our room. We got up to our floor and out of the elevator when who do you think was rounding the corner and walking down our corridor in our direction - yep there he was and what do you think I did - smiled widely (you know how you do when you see someone you know) then said hi! (again like I knew him) He smiled that beautiful smile, said hi back and with that he had past us and was gone - double damn!!

Happy Anniversary

It is amazing how quickly our lives are passing us by. I can't believe it was twelve months in October since Joe and I drove to Melbourne to attend the wedding of our gorgeous niece Elizabeth and her beautiful man, Gavin.
For their 1st wedding anniversary I did some digital scrapbooking layouts with their wedding photos then uploaded them to the Apple site, where they printed them in a hard cover coffee table format book.
It was so much fun to do and even more exciting when It finally arrived in the mail and I got to see it in real life.
I posted it off the the newlyweds then waited for their response. It was a total surprise for them, they had no idea what was in the parcel when it finally got to them.
I got a very teary, excited phone call from Libby, letting me know how much she loved it - mission accomplished!!

Libby and Gavin left for Bali on Sunday for a little wedding anniversary getaway - of course they had organised and paid for it long before the executions of the 'Bali Bombers', so right now we are just hoping and praying that they are having a really fun time, but that they are staying safe!

Farewell to Blair

We had some really sad news on Monday. My girlfriend Jo Monique phoned to tell me that her ex-boyfriend, who she has remained close with, were still friends and in contact with, had died.
At just 37 years of age, he was found dead in his shower after suffering from a heart attack on Monday morning.
She is obviously devastated and trying to come to terms with this tragic news.
His family flew over from New Zealand on Tuesday to make the funeral arrangements and say their final farewell to their precious son and brother, which was held at Mary Immaculate church, Ashmore, at 11:30 today.

He sadly leaves behind a beautiful little 1 year old boy, who I'm sure will be surrounded by his extended family's love, laughter and stories about his Dad as he grows.

A poem from Jo

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
We'd walk right up to heaven,
And bring you home again.

Loving memories always!
Jo, Broc, Aaron & Madison

.
In memory of Blair McCormack
29/6/1971 - 3/11/2008
R.I.P

Rockhampton visit

The week we had with Mum and Dad went way too quickly. It was so nice to have them here and for them to see our new 'digs' and our new lifestyle.
We managed a day trip to Rockhampton. We were able to get around to the two houses we lived in, the school we went to, the church we attended. Even though I had been back a couple of times, it was fascinating to hear their stories of that time in our lives, stories that I had forgotten or was too young to remember

.

We lived there when I was between the ages of 4 and 6 and it's truly amazing the depth of the memories that I can summon up from that period, considering I was so young. I think it's because I would consider it for some reason, the happiest time of my childhood.
The second house we lived in was actually the first home my mother and father owned. It cost them $6,000 in 1967.
It was a cosy little three bedroom, weather board home with a back yard that backed onto property that stabled horses. We had a chicken coop right down the back that we collected eggs from and to get to it we had an old wooden turn style gate.
The lady that lived next door kept turkeys and us kids were terrified of them, they used to wander over to our side of the yard and I remember one day they had my sister and I bailed up, so we climbed on top of the old gate and with hysterical tears, screamed for Mum to come and save us.
We had an gorgeous old mango tree right at the back door and in the summer Mum would put us in a cool bath and we'd spend an hour cooling off and eating juicy mangoes.

We also had a baby lamb that my sister and brothers would feed with a bottle - sweet, beautiful memories.

The plans of my brother James and his wife Kelli coming up to spend the weekend then take Mum and Dad back to the coast with them were changed with the decision to make a doctors appointment for myself on the Gold Coast, as it turned out I was able to get one for 2pm Friday - nothing to worry about, just having my hormone levels checked to see if I need any supplements. Being a girl is so much fun!
In light of the changed plans, meant we could bring Mum and Dad back with us. So Joe decided to make an event of it, booked into Jupiters again where we stayed the previous week, then caught the monorail across to Broadbeach and had dinner at our favourite restaurant- Koi. Never a disappointing dining experience - 'Delious'

On Saturday, we did a bit of shopping at Pacific Fair (fun)!!, then did a few other jobs that required some running around. (not so much fun)!
Saturday was also James' birthday, so at around 12 o'clock we picked up Jayden from where he's living in Sorrento and headed out to Chambers Flat for a BBQ at his house - and of course I took advantage of the photo op!!

Our weekend away was very romantic and relaxing and it's something that we're going to make a habit of doing more often!!

PS. Thank you to Julie and Diane for the comments you posted about my last blog - I phoned Tracey yesterday and asked if she could send me the photos of Guy Sebastian and unfortunately I got her at a really bad time - one of her staff had just had a fall and she was in the middle of attending to her and the arrival of the ambulance - I will try her again tomorrow though.

to be continued....

It feels like forever since I've been able to find the time to post on my blog...our week on the Gold Coast has come and gone and it definitely feels like a distant memory.
After traveling for 6 hours, we arrived home at around 6:00 Friday night with our very special cargo, Mum, Dad and their toy poodle Maddi and then the routine of work and being back here rapidly started all over again.
I was up and back into it Saturday bright and early and was doing my best to get myself in the right mindset that would settle me into the reality that the break was over - it took all of about 10 minutes of going downstairs for me to realise that yes, I was in fact back!!
My world which had been insulated from stress for the past 5 days was suddenly ended after having words with and sorting out one of the staff after we were told of some things being said by her about Joe and I, which was personal and have nothing to do with any part of her job or any of her business, the fact that she was doing it normally wouldn't have worried me too much if it was just the typical in house bitching amongst themselves that we've had to get used to in our short time here, but no, because it was about Joe and I, believe me, I saw red, pink and blue!!
I don't think she'll be doing it again in a hurry, or looking me straight in the eye any time soon.
I honestly didn't know I had it in me to confront and stand up for myself the way I did, so I surprised myself and I know I surprised her too, she absolutely did not see it coming and it was obviously something I hadn't anticipated doing when I woke that day.
I was really sad and disappointed all day after that, I didn't cry or even feel like crying, but I felt a heaviness of the weight of the responsibility that we have taken on and the intrusion it's had on our personal life which I hadn't contemplated when taking on this position.
It's definitely a unique position to be in and I truly believe it's enabled us to show our strengths and weaknesses, we absolutely have to keep a sense of humour and maybe not take things too seriously, sometimes harder to do than say.
I originally told Joe that I would give the service station game a go for 3 months and if after that time if I either wasn't enjoying it or felt that we were having too much 'together' time that I would look for a job in town and leave him to it - well, I was thinking at that moment that that time had come.
Anyway, we really did enjoy our break away from Calliope and the service stations staff and dramas.
We got to catch up with Joe's old bosses and friends from Freedom fuels, they were all really happy to see him, which was nice.
On Tuesday night there was a welcome to the event, buffet dinner, which had been set up outside around one the the pools at the casino. It was very impressive, that was until the heavens opened up and the most massive raindrops started to fall and the thunder and lightening came with such a crashing noise that quickly prompted 300 people to all at once converge to the nearest under cover we could find and after having spent $300 dollars on getting my hair done the day before, the only thought I had was to keep it dry!
The next day was the convention part of the schedule, with a panel of company experts sharing their knowledge of the products that were to be on offer throughout the day and an interesting line up of guest speakers, which included General Peter Cosgrove and a very inspiring man named John Coutis, born with a severe disability that rendered his legs useless, then later having them amputated, leaving him with only his torso and upper limbs. His story is a very powerful and inspiring one. His happy attitude and his positive outlook on life are truly amazing, told with hilarious humour which left me with an amazing admiration for this mans ability to live such an authentic life despite his many challenges.
To end the day and the convention we attended the Gala dinner with a Gangster theme, although we didn't dress up, surprisingly many did go to an awful lot of effort to look the part. We had a gorgeous three course meal and while we ate we were entertained by the casino's theatrical team who put on a stage musical of love, loss and of course a happy ending coming on in increments throughout dinner with a gangster style emcee explaining the storyline before each act.
Then there was the hypnotist, John St James. I've never been terribly impressed with this style of entertainment, but I must admit it was very amusing to watch.
A couple of the volunteers were hilarious to watch, even though I was still very skeptical I have to admit it was very entertaining.

But the highlight of the few days away for me was the final performer we were treated to - Guy Sebastian!! OMG, totally awesome.
The whole room was so impressed with his amazing personality and genuine generosity of his time and talent. Joe and I danced for every single song and after about 3 encores it was disappointingly all over. I do have photos of me with Guy, (well of me dancing, after positioning myself very inconspicuously in front of the stage he was up on), but Tracey, the Sarina site manager took them on her camera, so I have to get her to send them to me. I will definitely post them once I have them.

It has taken me so long to get this post finished that we have been gone and are now back from the Gold Coast again, just getting back this morning - but that is a whole other story which I will hopefully get the time to post about tomorrow.....to be continued!